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A Short Comparison of Religions

U.S. President Ronald Reagan was obviously a Taoist in popularizing his slogan. What would the other religions have to say about the matter?:

Taoism

Shit happens.

Confucianism

Confucius say, "Shit happens."

Calvinism

Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.

Buddhism

If shit happens, it really isn't shit.

7th Day Adventist

No shit on Saturdays.

Zen

What is the sound of shit happening?

Hedonism

There is nothing like a good shit happening.

Hinduism

This shit happened before.

Mormonism

This shit is going to happen again.

Islam

If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.

Moonies

Only happy shit really happens.

Stoicism

This shit is good for me.

Protestantism

Let the shit happen to someone else.

Catholicism

Shit happens because you are BAD.

Hare Krishna

Shit happens, rama rama.

Judaism

Why does this shit always happen to US?

Zoroastrianism

Shit happens half the time.

Christian Science

Shit is in your mind.

Atheism

No shit.

Existentialism

What is shit, anyway?

Rastafarianism

Let's smoke this shit.

Psychic

Erase this shit.

© Mon Nov 28 08:00:00 HST 2006 Angela_Kahealani: Clairvoyant Psychic Reader, Healer and Counselor, consults at 1(808)822-5272; Teaches Meditation, Clairvoyance, Kundalini; and presents educational Articles. Terms of Service.